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Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Dating in the Gay Scene?

I want to talk about another great topic. DATING!!!! Everyone knows the older you get the harder dating becomes. Why, because we tend to get more picky, when we probably shouldn't. We already know what we want, & usually, not many people fit the criteria. We have a no exceptions rule, or maybe a few exceptions, but who ever measures up to that list? (You know we all have our deal breakers)! Also because we are grown up and are not into playing games. Not to mention, there is probably some younger chick or guy in line before they hit on you lol. The older we get, our personalities change, we don't want the quick fling, we want the serious settle down type right?

So dating in the gay scene, well I think its probably harder than in the straight scene. Why you might ask, because you can't always tell who is gay, especially if your out at a straight place. (Unless you have amazing gaydar, or are a dyke who screams lesbian or a dude that screams Homo.) Well obviously you can tell when your out with your gay friends at a club, but we all know how long those relationships last. Your best bet is to meet someone through your other gay friends, try the online thing, or possibly try the blind date thing. Warning!!!! (About letting Straight friends set up blind dates for you). They Always try to hook you up with the one other gay person they know, or have heard about (Which is usually never your type....lol, so be careful).

Side story: My Parents tried one time to introduce me to my uncle's girlfriends daughter (Long explanation I know). I thought to myself NO-WAY, but then was like what the hell why not, let me just meet her. She was so far from my type of girl, I should have known better, I got suckered into it. We sat around and had nothing to talk about. It was no BUENO my friends. Lesson learned. Keep an open mind but be realistic.

I'm going to speak from personal experience, like I have said before, I love femmes. However because I am one, I tend to always get stuck with dyke's. So when I'm out and about, odds are more than likely only a stud or a dyke chick will try to make a pass. When your out at the grocery store or a restaurant or something of that nature, you have to watch the double takes, or the secret winks....lmao. Its hard to meet a girl unless your super aggressive, or unless your at the right place at the right time. Then when you give into it and take a chance, this is the top 10 things you are generally dealing with.

1. They are one of your friends or worst yet have dated one of your friends. (Big no-no in my book) However its hard to avoid because are Sea is like a fish bowl....lol. Seriously a small world in the gay scene. Everyone knows everyone.
2. They are already dating someone.
3. Bi-sexual (I'm just not into that, not a negative for everyone).
4. Lame Personality - Have no swagger about them, & are super boring.
5. A TOTAL PLAYER. and have way too much swagger about them.
6. Not into relationships, only looking for hook ups.
7. Crazy, & the stalker type. (usually the clingy ones from the club...lol)
8. Not your type, but cool to talk to (I'm not really about looks, but be honest its hard to be attracted to someone your not attracted too.) I'm into features rather than looks.
9. The Cheater type, leaves wifey at home & meets sancha's at the club.
10. The extremely Jealous type that comes with way TO MUCH DRAMA.

Lets say you get past all this, and you truly do meet the person of your dreams. You still have to be able to connect with them on a physical, emotional & sexual level. We all know when the sex is great, it will keep you happy in the beginning or until you get bored of it. When your physically attracted to the person, it makes you want them more. When they are sweet and on your level emotionally you are fascinated with them. But you have to make sure the fire never burns out. There has got to be substance!

I also come from a wild younger past (so I have done my fair share of dating). Then I have done the extremely long relationship type of thing to. I'm 26 going to be 27 this year, I was already engaged & it didn't work out. So to be honest the last thing I thought I wanted was to be in love again, well not for a long time at least. But let me tell you, trying to be on the open market isn't very much fun either. First of all my love life is very complicated, I don't even want to get into it. But most people who know me personally say I'm the wifey type....lol. That's because I am surely not the quick fling type.

What's a wifey type of chick? She is the one girl who is for the most part drama free, (only acts crazy if she needs too). Good looking, maybe not the hottest, but could be if your lucky. Independent, strong willed, hopefully amazing in bed, the one you want to take home to mom & dad. The one all your friends would try to scoop up if you ever broke up (Dam Haters...lol). The triple threat, is a Good cook or house wife type, has a Great Job, and can take of herself, & a banging personality who gets along easily with your peeps. Remember looks are not always what's important, but make sure you are attracted to her, other wise she will be wifey material, but you will always be looking for another attraction on the side.

Quick fling type is a drunken hook up, someone for the right now, not forever. The one who your super attracted to sexually and all but have no interest in anything else. The one who caught your eye, but came no where close to your heart. The I'm bored after 2 months type.

Don't worry there are more fish in the sea, is what my friends have been telling me since my big break up. But the sea is swimming with lots of piranhas too. I want to meet the person who wants to be with me now, not at some point. Who knows my worth, and doesn't pass me by. The person who is on my level, or trying to get on that level. I want some one to appreciate the sweet, good hearted, generous, hard working, independent woman that I am. I'm far from perfect but I have a great head on my shoulders. I want someone to have goals & aspirations like I do. Is that too much to ask for? I don't know, I guess only time will tell.

Hope you enjoyed my latest dose of Vixxx, remember people this is just for information purposes. Just a quick look into the dating life in the gay well Lesbian scene. Good luck out there my little fish. Time is short, sink or swim baby.

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