My Crazy Love Life - Part 3 (The Real Lesbian)

When I was 19 my best friend passed away from cancer, I was heart-broken an a mess. The last thing I wanted to do was party or meet new people. I had just spent the last 6 months sleeping in the hospital on two chairs put together. So as you can imagine, I was devastated. My friends wanted me to be happy, so they tried to get me to go out. But really I was a bore, Not my usual life of the party self. So I did what I usually do, I threw myself into my work.

While my friend was still around but sick, she begged me to go out & have a good time. I agreed go out this once to show her we can still have fun. I met someone that same night. But I was not interested, due to having no time in my life. After my friend passed that person popped around again. She was friends with my circle of friends. She started to call, & hang around, I wasn't looking for anything serious. I guess in December after talking for a few months, I started to see a possibility of something more. Small problem this girl was another big time player and yes people she was a dyke. So what did I do, nothing. I wouldn't even kiss her until she was done with all her other girls in her entourage, and to my surprise she got rid of them, and I guess I gave into the whole dyke thing again. Who would have thought my longest relationship would be with a dyke. I guess opposites attract...lol.

By the end of December 2002 we had made it official. It was fun to date someone who was really into me, & vice verse. We partied together with our friends but with all new loves, your most comfortable when its just the two of you. The first time we were sexually together, it was incredible the best I had ever had. Her lips were so soft and passionate. I was longing for someone to make me feel so .... orgasmic. I fell in love with the thought of being in love.

We had an amazing first 6 moths together, she helped me heal my pain of losing my best friend. She kept me happy, which was something most of the other people I dated couldn't do. We had problems over the following 6 months, our friends didn't think we should be together. Our first year was a bit of a roller coaster. We fought for our relationship, & in the process, I lost a lot of friends. I was angry with her, but it was also a very positive point in my life. I was growing up and I got my shit together.

We bought a condo, and started to build a life together that wasn't about partying, hanging out and hooking up. It was about getting ahead in life. I was 20 & she was 19at the time (yeah I'm older not a Chester though....lol). For my first birthday together she took me to Hawaii, Maui to be exact. It was blissful, the first picture we took together was at the beach during sunset. We fell in love & did everything together, she became my best friend. We knew we could make it together, she asked me to marry her and I said yes. However we agreed to wait for gays to marry legally. Its just a piece of paper anyway, & we already lived the life of a married couple.

We grew up together over the next few years, but in all relationships there are problems, and as time would go on, we would develop more and more. We sold our condo about a year later and upgraded to a house. This year we went to Cancun for my birthday, we stayed in a luxurious hotel, & had a fabulous time. However with a new house comes new bills and we had to go back to reality. We were doing renovations to our house, & living the life. However money became a constant issue, we has times of struggle & times of bliss like most relationships. When we were struggling arguments would come, when money was flowing we were fine. We made a pact to stick it out, good or bad, hard or easy. We loved each other.

The following year we went to the Bahamas for my birthday, we loved to travel it was a way for us to celebrate our hard work. Although this trip had plenty of issues. We made the best of it. When we came home we were investing in more real estate & eventually got in over our heads. The financial problems were draining us. It then started to creep into our relationship. My partner was trying to get into the police force, and she dedicated her life to that, I supported a 100%. She quit her job, & managed all of our properties full time, I stayed working to bring a constant income to the house. But soon this would be the changes that started to ruin our relationship.

We began to fight about everything over the last year of our relationship. There were bad influences & my partner was going through a change within in her self & needed to be on her own. So October of 2007, just shy of five years together, we split up. I was broken into a million pieces. I had to start all over again, I never thought we wouldn't make it. I thought we will get through this, but we never did. I had lost my best friend again, but this time it was worse, because I was in love with her. This is the second most hardest time for me. We actually stopped talking for a long time. I didn't see her for over a year. We tried to be friends, but I guess it was too painful. We are civil now though, I love her still and always will.

I was very angry & hurt for a long time. I once again put my whole self into a relationship and ended up leaving with nothing. Pain is love I heard, ain't that the truth, but to be honest I would rather have loved and lost, then to never experience that kind of love, its intense. I have never really released so much to the public before, I had a journal that I would write in to keep me sane through the last year of our relationship. I'm telling you this because the one thing that helped me get through it all was TIME. TIME HEALS ALL WOUNDS. Broken limbs, cuts, scrapes, & most of all broken hearts.

It's 2 years later now and I'm finding myself all over again. I re-connected with an old friend, who has slowly helped put all my pieces back together and mend my broken heart as best as I have allowed her to. I may have been broken, with all of the hardships in my life, but I can say honestly as do my wrists, I am beautifully broken. I hoped you liked this very deep dose of vixxx. We will get to better more funny stuff in the future. Thanks for reading.